No Small Thing

August 26

Before we knew it was serious- Me and the girls laughing at the lump.

Did I mention that the tumor in my breast went from the size of a pea to the size of an orange in less than a month?  It did.  It was the freakiest thing. When  I was young I used to joke that if I ever had breast cancer I would know immediately because my chest was so small it would surely stick out like a sore thumb.   At the end of June, 2016 I felt the tiniest little something and by the time it was removed on August 27 it was the size of  a small grapefruit.  No joke about the sore thumb- this thing protruded out the side of my left breast  so much so that anyone looking at me would surely think, "Wow that poor gal is lopsided."  It happened so fast.  So fast.   You might be wondering how is it I had this huge mass in my breast and didn't suspect cancer.  Simple, I was told again and again that everything about this mass indicated a fibroadenoma.  I was told this by my doctor's nurse practitioner when I saw her at the beginning of July."It's likely a cyst or perhaps a fibroadenoma."  I was told this by the first ultrasound tech I saw a week later.  I was told this again when I saw the nurse practitioner  to get the ultrasound results.  "It's got all the hallmarks of a fibroadenoma."  She ordered a mammogram.  Unfortunately the first available mammogram by our covered provider was in September.  I couldn't wait that long.  Doug and I decided to call on our dear friend Carol White who is a mammogram tech at a local imaging clinic.  It was a Friday afternoon and I would be in to see Carol the first thing Monday.  Carol was the first person to show any sort of genuine concern over the size of the mass. After she finished with the images the doctor told her, "The patient needs a biopsy done."  Again I had to go back to my doctor's nurse (thanks insurance) so she could order the biopsy.  A week later  I got in for that.  Again, the Doc who did the biopsy mentioned a probable fibroadenoma.
Let me make this clear none of the Doctors or nurses were downplaying the possibility of something more sinister than a fibroadenoma.  Each cautioned that it could be something more, but each was hopeful, as was I, that this was going to be a  small side step in my life. One in which I might need a little surgery to remove this intruder, and then back to the day to day business.
After the phone call on the 25th my hope for a quick removal of some weird lump in my breast was dashed. "malignant, spindle celled, neoplasm..."
The morning of the 26th Doug and I got ready early.  Thanks to Todd's quick thinking Dr. President had been able to call in a sleeping pill for me. I didn't get much sleep, but I got some.  We tried to keep the mood light, but both of us were weighed down with fear.  We prayed, cried, prayed some more.  I didn't eat or drink in hopes Dr. President could lie me across his examining table and just cut the whole thing off.  Crazy, right?  But that is what I hoped for.
We arrived at his office at about the same time he came over from the hospital.  Doctors, I learned, have a network and by the time I arrived he had already spoken with Dr. Swainston, Dr. Paul and the pathologist.  Dr. President was his usual happy self. Before he examined me he even said something along the lines of, "You're going to be alright." I took such comfort in those words.  After he examined me both Doug and I noticed his demeanor change.  The room grew more serious as he told us he would operate on me  the very next morning.  There was lots of talk about what the surgery would entail.  The size of the mass and the my small frame lead him to think it was likely he wouldn't be able to close me up.  I would need a skin graft later.  I didn't care, not one bit.  Just get the malignant, spindle celled, neoplasm thing out of me.
We left Dr. President's office. His wonderful surgical scheduler gave us all we needed to get registered at the hospital and she made some necessary calls to the insurance company to get the ball rolling.  The process at the hospital took some time.  An old student of mine's mother was the lady checking me in.  I wish I remembered her name, I don't. But I do remember her kindness. As we waited we were told the insurance had not yet approved the surgery.  I called Kristie who sent out the alert to the sisters in my ward.  Dee texted and called women from the stake and asked that they spread the word.  I needed their prayers.  It was Friday afternoon at about 2pm when I talked to Suzie, my partner and crime at work.  She told me the staff at my school, my wonderful work friends, were holding a prayer circle in my behalf in just a few minutes.  I asked her to have them pray specifically that the insurance would approve the surgery.  Doug and I sat and waited.  About twenty minutes later Suz called me back to tel me about the prayers that were offered and to assure me they had prayed about the insurance.  While I was talking with her Dr. President called Doug and said the insurance had approved my surgery.
This tumor, well, it was no small thing. It was immense and forbidding.  But I had something more powerful on my side.  If you have ever wondered, "Does God really hear and answer my prayers?" I can assure you he does.